Whose career goes first?    When it comes to dual working couples, there are some important and ongoing questions to ask each other along your career paths.    When couples have very different career types and levels of financial stability, the question of whose career goes first is critical ...

It would be easy if there were one view and one set of values around stay-at-home parents, but there’s not.    Having worked with countless couples and individuals, I have come to appreciate that the views, values, and experiences of stay-at-home parents are varied and nuanced.    My vast e...

What happens in your body when you read the word “success?”   Is it an automatic relaxation and easing in your chest and shoulders? Or is it more like a sinking feeling in your gut and a tightening of your jaw?    Experience tells me there is one of two ways your body responds to this word: g...

I just returned from Paris where I got to watch the Olympics. What an absolutely amazing experience to see this event in person!   Ever since I was a child, I have loved watching the Olympics. It is always so inspiring. Being there in person took it to a whole new level for me and my family.  ...

Just starting to think about money fights is enough to activate our nervous system and sound the alarm bells or shut down signals. So let’s take a deep breath together.    I want to be honest with you from the beginning: Learning to stop fighting about money will be challenging and take practic...

“Dad! Dad! Dad! DAD!!!! I want to see Inside Out 2!” This is what I heard for days from my six- and eight-year-old boys. I loved the first Inside Out movie and was excited to see the second one. So we headed off to the movies the other night to see Inside Out 2.    Wow, wow, wow.    As I watc...

Defensiveness is a psychological defense mechanism often used in response to criticism, judgment, and being shamed. Psychological defensiveness is often used by couples during conflict and can lead to a vicious cycle where both partners become critical and defensive.    This is especially impor...

Financial infidelity is a topic that has been getting more and more press in recent years. On the whole, that is a good thing for us.    I have seen firsthand and in the lives of my clients the adverse impacts that financial infidelity can have on an intimate relationship.    Recently, I was ...

 How many different ways can there be for couples to split their finances?    What is your answer?   When I was young and newly married, mine was simple: one. I hadn’t given it a whole lot of thought. Perhaps there was no real reason to think much about how I would split income and expenses w...

“Wow! That wake boat is amazing!” That’s the first thought that passed through my mind as we fueled up our rented pontoon boat over Memorial Day weekend. Loving life on the lake brings both joy and shame for me. I wish it was a purely emotional experience of bliss and pleasure — but it’s not.   ...