What if There Were a Gold Medal for Achieving Healthy Love and Money?

I just returned from Paris where I got to watch the Olympics. What an absolutely amazing experience to see this event in person!

Ever since I was a child, I have loved watching the Olympics. It is always so inspiring. Being there in person took it to a whole new level for me and my family. 

The Olympics and Olympians have much to teach us how to navigate our love and money life. 

The UnderDog In Soccer: Uzbekistan

The crowd was starkly divided at a first-round soccer match between Spain and Uzbekistan. Team Uzbekistan fans brought a level of passion and excitement to the match I haven’t ever seen at a sporting match. This was Uzbekistan’s first-ever appearance as a soccer team at the Olympics. 

By contrast, Spain’s fans seemed nearly silent. Uzbekistan was the underdog against Spain, a country that is known for its top-tier soccer performance. 

In love and money, we too can feel like the underdogs—just excited to be showing up and playing in the game of life. Our family histories can be riddled with dysfunction and disconnection, leaving us with the reality that there is a lot to learn, heal, and grow through to help improve our odds of winning a gold medal in love and money. 

It was clear while watching Uzbekistan play soccer that they had put in the hard work to play at the highest levels. At the same time, it was their crowd cheering them on that seemed to bring out that extra edge they brought to this match. 

As couples, we need cheerleaders too. Working hard towards your love and money gold is not easy, and sometimes what we need is a coach and a few cheerleaders to say “Good job! Keep going!” Who is in your corner cheering you on as a couple while you work towards your love and money gold? 

The match kept all the fans on their toes for the final outcome. (I held my breath during the penalty shots.) In the end, Spain pulled out a narrow win. While understandably upsetting for Uzbekistan, they still walked out with their heads held high and their fans energized by an incredible match. 

Our love and money gold may not come down to one final penalty shot, but it will be a journey with highs, lows, and probably a less-clear victory. When we are working as a couple on our financial lives, the gold medal is symbolic, not literal. Each couple will define winning at love and money differently, but there are some common themes. They include openness, love, respect, and enjoyment in the way they use their financial resources to create a meaningful life together. 

Sticking Together Even When You're Not Winning: Women's Rugby

I had no idea what to expect when I attended a women’s rugby match. I had never seen women play rugby before, and it blew my mind. The stadium was packed with spectators for what proved to be a fantastic afternoon. 

The setup was incredible. We didn’t just get to watch two teams play to a win—we watched 12 teams compete against each other. The tournament-style play set up each match between two teams of no more than 30 minutes, then the teams would change. 

What I loved about watching women’s rugby was the level of support each player had for the team—there were hugs, smiles, high-fives, and lots of encouragement. Each team stayed encouraging even when things would get tough for them. There were some blowout matches, but when the team didn’t achieve its goal of winning, the rugby players still supported each other. 

As a couple, I know there can be some tough matches where it feels like you are getting beat up and losing: failed entrepreneurial ventures, spending challenges, family expectations, cultural expectations, or mental health and physical health issues that interrupt the best-laid plans. It’s at times like this when it is easy to start to turn on your teammate: your spouse. What these women reminded me of is how important it is to stick together and keep working as a team even when things are not going well.  

The stakes are high in marriage and long-term intimate relationships. Sometimes, it can feel like one of you is trying to play soccer and the other is trying to play rugby. When that’s the case, it’s time to slow down and decide together what game you're playing. 

The game of love and money is not won or lost in a single match but over the life of your relationship together. You will make it to another love and money Olympics. Finding outside coaching and support to improve the way you play together can make a big difference in the way you work as a team. This can include financial planners, financial therapists, and couples therapists.  

Flat Tires and Winning the Race: Mountain Biking

My favorite sport and pastime is mountain biking. There is nothing like getting out into nature on my mountain bike and enjoying time in the trees with peace and solitude. 

Olympic mountain biking racing was a whole different experience. There wasn’t a quiet place in the woods that day. An amazing number of people showed up to watch these Olympic mountain bikers. There were shoulder-to-shoulder crowds in the trees and in the open spaces where the racers would fly through the air onto the next section of the race course. 

The riders were scheduled to ride seven laps around this course. With each passing lap, the excitement built as it became more and more clear who the lead riders would be. The race between favored Great Britain rider Tom Pidcock and France’s Victor Koretzky was thrilling. Tom got a flat tire on the third lap that took him out of the lead, leaving his fans wondering whether he would be able to recover. Victor led much of the rest of the race, until the last lap and a half when Tom made a patient and ultimately victorious move to win the race, where he passed Victor in a tight section of the final part of the trail to win gold.

When we are racing for gold in love and money, we will get flat tires at the most inconvenient times. Sometimes it takes a few laps to get back up to speed and put ourselves back in a winning position. That can be frustrating and discouraging. It takes relational and psychological resilience to get back on the bike and keep riding to gold. 

Unlike changing a flat tire to get riding again, it often takes a series of different interventions to learn, heal, and grow through your relationship flat tires. This is why I have created Therapy-Informed Financial Planning which brings together the best of both the worlds of financial planning and therapy to help couples continue on their race to gold in their love and money life. 

What would getting a gold medal in love and money mean for the two of you and your family? 

Let’s schedule a time to talk about how Therapy-Informed Financial Planning can help the two of you win gold.