Do Your Traumatic Life Experiences Impact Your Finances?

It may surprise you to hear that in my financial therapy sessions we discuss the painful experiences of my client’s past that seem like they are completely unrelated to money. N It often surprises my clients as well. Why do these seemingly-unrelated experiences matter to their financial woes? The truth is the memories of those traumatic situations — no matter how deeply buried — can impact your financial outlook and how you handle your money now. Acknowledging that past pain is an important part of your financial self-care and one that should not be overlooked.

Unresolved Trauma and Your Financial Self-Care

At first glance, it may not appear obvious to you how an old trauma, something you may have ignored or felt you dealt with in the past, could have any impact on your finances currently. I have worked with many patients who felt the same. At times, they may have even blocked the trauma from their memories, only for it to come up during our discussions unbeknownst to them until it just happens. These traumas can be anything from something life-typical, like the loss of a loved one (which happens to all of us at some point) to more complicated, painful experiences beyond our control such as emotional/physical abuse or struggling with an addiction. While it is possible to tuck these emotions away, they are part of you and impact your decision making, even when it comes to money. As we approach the holidays, these feelings may awaken. They may be triggered by seeing someone who has hurt you, missing that lost loved one at the table or returning to the site where the trauma occurred. Having an awareness about these feelings and how they affect your relationship with money becomes crucial to your financial self-care.

How Does Your Trauma Become Financial Strain?

It is important to note, the unresolved trauma can play a part in your financial strain and struggles. Those hidden or forgotten feelings can cause you to feel unworthy, anxious, shameful, angry, or frustrated which can influence the way we perceive ourselves and can rewire our nervous system. Both of these impact how we experience the world and change how we think about all aspects of our lives. The reality is, the trauma leaves no area of our lives untouched, including how we navigate our financial lives.

The Next Step Towards Financial Self-Care

It is important to see that these unresolved traumas have wide-reaching effects. The holidays are a prime time for them to resurface. The family gatherings, the added financial stress, and your expectations for how your holiday should unfold can stir up your emotions. By developing an awareness about the trauma and your feelings, and how those feelings impact your finances, you can prepare and deal with those emotions as part of your financial self-care. By understanding those feelings and working through them on your terms, you can take control of the situation. Developing awareness about your trauma and money beliefs can be freeing and help set you on a path to a brighter financial future.

Would you like more 1 on 1 support? Then perhaps Therapy Informed Financial Planning is for the two of you. I invite you to schedule your free 30-minute discovery call today.

Wishing You Healthy Love and Money,

Ed Coambs

MBA, MA, MS, CFP®, CFT-I™, LMFT

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