The Language of Investing: A Therapeutic Approach to Financial Conversations

Sitting across from each other, you and your partner might have different reactions when the topic of investing comes up. Maybe one of you feels confident, while the other feels uncertain. Or maybe both of you feel the pressure to sound knowledgeable—even if deep down, you're not entirely sure about what all the financial jargon means.

This is completely normal. Talking about investments can feel like trying to speak a foreign language. You might know a few phrases, but when faced with someone fluent—whether that’s your partner, a financial planner, or a friend—you don’t want to expose the gaps in your knowledge. Who wants to feel exposed, especially in front of their spouse?

The Challenge of Financial Conversations

When couples sit down to talk about money, there’s often an unspoken fear: the fear of not knowing enough. This can lead to defensiveness, frustration, or avoidance altogether. If you’ve ever found yourself using financial buzzwords without fully understanding them, you’re not alone. Many people do this to protect themselves from feeling embarrassed or inadequate.

The Role of Your Financial Professional: Arrogance, Avoidance, or Compassion?

As financial professionals, we see this dynamic all the time. And we have a choice in how we respond:

1. We can take an authoritative stance. Correcting and dominating the conversation might make us feel like the expert, but it leaves clients feeling unheard and even more insecure.

2. We can back away and let you struggle through the discomfort. But that doesn’t serve your long-term financial confidence.

3. We can step in as a compassionate guide. Creating a safe space for learning, free of judgment, allows couples to grow their financial language and confidence together.

At Healthy Love & Money, we choose the third option. Because investing isn’t just about knowing the right terms—it’s about helping you and your partner build confidence and develop a shared financial language.

The Courage to Say, "I Don’t Know"

It takes an emotionally mature and secure person to say, "I don’t know much about this, but I’d like to learn." But that’s a big ask, especially in front of your spouse. Many people feel pressure to “already know” financial concepts, which can make it hard to admit uncertainty.

But here’s the truth: Admitting what you don’t know is the first step toward meaningful financial growth. When you create a relationship where it’s safe to say, “I need help,” you open the door to deeper understanding and collaboration.

Finance as a Foreign Language

To someone unfamiliar, financial jargon can sound like gobbledygook. But when you start learning the words and concepts, it becomes a beautiful language—one that helps you navigate your financial future with confidence.

Think of it like traveling to a new country. At first, everything feels unfamiliar, but over time, you recognize patterns, pick up common phrases, and start feeling at home. When couples approach investing with curiosity rather than fear, it transforms from something intimidating into something empowering.

Stages of Understanding and Engaging with the Investment Markets

Much like learning a new language, engaging with investing happens in stages:

1. Unaware: You might not know what you don’t know yet. Investing feels like something “other people” do.

2. Curious: You’ve heard some terminology, maybe from a podcast or a friend, and start wondering what it all means.

3. Overwhelmed: You start exploring, but the amount of information is dizzying. This is where many people stop.

4. Guided: With the support of a trusted professional, you begin to understand the basics and apply them.

5. Engaged: You become more comfortable discussing investing with your partner and making collaborative decisions.

6. Empowered: Investing is no longer intimidating—it’s a meaningful part of your shared financial life and long-term vision.

Wherever you and your partner find yourselves, remember that growth is possible—and it's okay to be at different stages. The key is staying engaged in the learning process together.

Reframing Risk: What’s the Bigger Danger?

Many couples are understandably cautious when it comes to investing. Maybe there’s a story in your past—a market crash, a family member’s poor investment, or simply a lack of exposure—that makes investing feel too risky.

But there’s another kind of risk that doesn’t get talked about as often: the risk of not being invested.

History and data tell a compelling story. Over time, people who participate in the markets with a disciplined, long-term approach tend to build significantly more wealth than those who stay on the sidelines. Yes, there are ups and downs—but with patience and guidance, investing can help secure your financial future.

We honor the stories and concerns that shape your relationship with money. And we believe that with compassion, education, and support, you can reframe the narrative and choose a path that aligns with your goals and values.

Creating a Safe Space for Financial Conversations

Most people haven’t studied personal finance or investing in depth—they’ve just picked up phrases here and there. That’s why it’s so important to create an environment where both partners feel safe to express what they know (and don’t know). If one person feels intimidated, embarrassed, or dismissed, financial conversations can become a source of tension rather than connection.

Instead, financial discussions should be opportunities for growth, learning, and strengthening your partnership.

Building a Shared Financial Language

When you and your partner embrace financial learning together, you build a shared financial language. This doesn’t mean you both need to become experts. It simply means understanding enough to make informed, collaborative decisions.

Just like traveling together and learning a few key phrases in a foreign country makes the experience richer, learning basic investment concepts together makes financial planning more empowering.

So, the next time you and your partner talk about money, ask yourselves:

• Are we creating a space of empathy and curiosity?

• Are we treating financial knowledge as an exclusive club or as an open invitation to learn?

When you approach investing like learning a new language, you remove the shame and replace it with discovery. And that’s where true financial intimacy begins.

Ready to Learn the Language of Finance Together?

At Healthy Love & Money, we believe that financial conversations should be empowering, not intimidating. Our team of compassionate professionals is here to help you and your partner develop your financial language at a pace that feels right for you. If you're ready to deepen your understanding of investing and build financial intimacy with your partner, schedule a consultation with us today!