The Couples Guide To Financial Intimacy is built on core values that guide everything that we do, develop, and deliver. We recognize there are a variety of values by which people guide their lives. When we don’t see eye to eye let’s agree to remain open and explore how to move forward together.
Financial intimacy is a lifetime journey
The concept and experience of financial intimacy are not regularly talked about at any level of society and yet it may be one of the most important relational values we can work on developing. It creates opportunities to reduce conflict and increase engagement and meaning with the people we care most about. We know that money talks can be awkward, uncomfortable, and sometimes downright scary, but when we learn how to be both seen and see each other, a whole new world opens up for us financially and emotionally.
Intrinsic worth of each person
Each person that we come in contact with has a fundamental worth and value not based on what they have done or not done but rather in their existence and life being lived. We seek to find and discover that within ourselves and others.
Free and responsible search for meaning
All humans are meaning-making creatures. One of the primary ways that we do that is through the creation and telling of stories. Stories help to animate and fill our life with meaning. We will be challenged to explore the stories we tell about ourselves and others as it relates to life, intimacy, and money.
The value of each person’s lived experience with money
This is a very specific value to The Couples Guide To Financial Intimacy program. Part of our distress around money is too narrow of an understanding of our lived experiences with money. While our ideas about money give some guidance to what we do with money, it is our direct and lived experiences with money that guide us through our financial decision making often without our awareness. We will seek to know, expand, and retell our financial stories to shed light on our own experiences and create opportunities for others to better know and understand their own story.
Safety and value of all emotions and feelings
As a part of the broader animal kingdom, we are wired with a beautiful, complex, and dynamic set of systems that allow us to experience emotions and feelings. A critical part of mental and relational health is having access, understanding, and the ability to work with the full range of emotions and feelings. Emotions and feelings are seen as a valuable source of information and knowledge about how our environment is impacting us.
A place to explore the role of money in your own life and that of your partner
The role that money plays in our life is far from static. It is dynamic and complex. There is nowhere we can go in life both inwardly or outwardly and escape the realities of the financial world we live in. The way we show up around money impacts our overall well-being and quality of life. Having a safe place to explore the role of money in your life will open up new possibilities for you and your partner.
Relationship and Financial Security are deeply interwoven and inseparable
Sadly too many people focus on creating financial security at the expense of relationship security. On the other hand, some become so focused on their relationships that they give little thought to the role of money in their life and relationship. Exploring this powerful intersection of relationship and financial security as a critical part of financial intimacy will give couples a strong foundation to work from.
Personal and Relational growth takes time and happens in dynamic and complex ways
When we are in pain, despair, fear, anxiety, shame we want answers and solutions now. That is completely understandable. At the same time, there is so much more to life and resolution of what troubles you and your partner. Giving yourself the time and space to work through the deeper layers will lead you into a far more joyful and meaningful experience of life. This is not to say pain-free, but rather the ability to handle the full range of life experiences. Both the expected and unexpected.
Application of scientific understanding to our own lives and the way we interact with ourselves, our partners, family and money
The love and limits of science is acknowledged and appreciated. Science creates opportunities for us to systemically ask and try to understand ourselves and the world we live in. The Couples Guide To Financial Intimacy draws specifically from the scientific areas of Interpersonal Neurobiology. (The study of how human relationships shape our sense of self, view of others, and the structures of our brains). Alongside the study of financial planning which reveals the ways in which humans make, maintain, and miss out on what is happening in their financial lives.
