How to Improve Your Financial Self-Care Routine with Mind/Body Awareness

        Financial self-care is something you may not have heard about or fully understand. Most of us recognize self-care as doing things that improve our physical or mental health. Financial self-care is similar. You need to take the time to review your financial situation and figure out how money works in your life. Your finances need your attention and to be cared for in the same way as your body and mind, so that you can reset the financial area of your mind to something healthy and enjoyable. In today’s post, I want to discuss how you can add a financial mind/body awareness technique to your financial self-care which can be a great first step to your financial self-care plan

The Importance of Financial Self-Care 

        We have covered a lot in recent posts about how our traumatic life experiences, which may seem irrelevant, and perhaps have been forgotten, impact our financial lives. Those traumas can deeply affect how you view your finances and spend your money. Financial self-care helps us work through these triggering and painful memories. We also discussed increasing awareness of how the holidays and the family dynamics can create expectations, sometimes unreasonable ones, for ourselves and others, around the holidays. The reality is, you need to set your own standards and guidelines, and live by them, not what others expect. This can be difficult, but it is necessary. Financial self-care can help in maintaining these boundaries.

        Lastly, we discussed having financial empathy. Empathy is important when planning for your holidays and beyond. Part of this means being curious about the feelings coming up for your partner and family and knowing what is important to them. Financial empathy is a key component of your financial self-care plan. 

Mind/Body Awareness When Financial Pain Happens 

        As we now know, we all have experienced a financial situation that has caused us pain. It could be misleading a partner in a financial situation, large credit card debt, bankruptcy, or something else. Often, we push those feelings down, ignoring them but now is the time to learn to address them so you can find more peace and feel grateful for your financial situation. Learning to feel and work through the emotions around the painful money situations can be difficult but the rewards are worth the efforts. 

        When working through any type of trauma there are five elements to look at. Each one needs to be addressed to resolve any trauma. These five elements are Sensation, Imagery, Behavior, Affect, and Meaning, known as SIBAM. Babette Rothschild discusses them in her book The Body Remembers. Taking time to identify these elements of your trauma allows you to move forward, to understand your feelings, and move on to a healthier place. As an example, Mary, (whose name has been changed) had hidden a bankruptcy from before her marriage from Ted, her husband. When they began discussing purchasing their first home, she knew she had to tell him. Let’s look at this through the lens of SIBAM. Sensation - she feels tense, anxious, fearful, and shameful. Imagery - Ted might feel betrayed and want to leave her. Behavior - she chose to mislead him, and hide her past mistakes.  Affect - she felt anxious, fearful, disappointed, and shameful. Meaning -  Mary felt like a liar and an untrustworthy person. Through counseling, Mary worked through these issues and she and Ted grew stronger in the process. 

        There are many exercises that can help you slow down and take notice of SIBAM elements, including a simple body awareness exercise you can try that is in my LinkedIn article, “Developing Financial Self Care for the Holidays and All the Days After”. But the premise is that when your mind or body becomes overwhelmed or shuts down, your brain is unable to consider new financial decisions. When facing those decisions, your brain triggers the activation of your threat management system (Autonomic Nervous System), you may feel anxious and insecure about what you are doing. When you become aware of these feelings and learn to stop and notice them, your brain will bring you back to feeling secure and safe and stops you from making a financial decision you are not comfortable with. Over time, with the awareness of your body’s reactions, and by listening to them, you can learn to create positive reactions, letting your brain know that you are safe and secure. This is a journey, but one that will bring you to a place of connection and understanding around your money.

        An example would be buying a luxury car you have dreamed about for years. You’ve received a substantial raise and feel now is the time for you to make your dream a reality. At the dealership, as you begin the process of financing the car, your palms get sweaty, you feel anxious and overwhelmed. You begin to think about the large payment and what you could do to benefit your family with the additional money. That is your brain, guiding you away from a decision that you do not feel comfortable with. By developing those skills and listening to your body, you can avoid those regrets for your financial decisions.

Next Steps in Creating Your Financial Self-Care Plan

          Even if you begin to leverage the mind/body awareness exercise I’ve shared with you, there’s more that can be incorporated into your self-care plan. I think it is clear that there is self-reflection needed to identify where your financial situation is currently. There is also a need to identify your traumas, both emotional and financial, and learn what impact they have on your life, and then find a way to heal from them. Whether that is something you can do on your own or with a financial therapist, take the time to address them and move forward. However, your choice to develop a financial self-care plan will be something useful to you in 2021 and beyond. You will find a deeper understanding of your financial situations and more peace in the process.

Would you like more 1 on 1 support? Then perhaps Therapy Informed Financial Planning is for the two of you. I invite you to schedule your free 30-minute discovery call today.

Wishing You Healthy Love and Money,

Ed Coambs

MBA, MA, MS, CFP®, CFT-I™, LMFT

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