How The 4 Attachment Styles Impact These 6 Areas Of Your Life

Your attachment style can impact many areas of your life. 

There are four different attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Understanding these styles can help you understand yourself better and develop more financial intimacy. 

If you haven’t yet discovered your attachment style, be sure to take The Attachment Style Quiz to learn more about your unique attachment style impacts you. 

Keep reading to understand how your attachment style may be impacting these 6 key areas of your life. 

Attachment Style Impacts Relationships

It's attachment style, more than anything else, that determines how we relate to others in our adult relationships.

Our attachment style is often determined by our early experiences with caregivers. If we had a parent or caregiver who was consistently responsive to our needs, then we're likely to have a secure attachment style.

If our caregiver was inconsistently responsive, then we might have an anxious attachment style. And if our caregiver was unresponsive or unavailable, then we might have an avoidant attachment style.

These attachment styles impact our relationships in a number of ways.

If you have a secure attachment style, you're more likely to have positive, healthy relationships with intimate partners and be willing to be vulnerable. 

You're able to trust others and be emotionally intimate with them. You're also more likely to feel comfortable in your relationships and to handle conflict in a constructive way.

If you have an anxious attachment style, you might find it difficult to trust others or be emotionally intimate with them. You may feel like you need more reassurance that your partner cares about you than most people and fear abandonment. 

If you have an avoidant attachment style, you might have a hard time being emotionally intimate with others. You may be overly independent and not feel the need for a close intimate relationship. 

You might also find it difficult to trust others or get too close to them.

If you have a disorganized attachment style, you might find that you experience a mixture of anxious and avoidant attachment styles. Sometimes feeling as though other people may abandon you and need reassurance, other times feeling as though other people are too close and you need space. 

You might also have a more negative view of relationships and find it difficult to handle conflict.

Attachment Style Impacts Your Work Life

Your attachment style can also impact your work life.

If you have a secure attachment style, you're more likely to feel comfortable in your job and to have positive relationships with your coworkers.

You're also more likely to feel like you're part of a team and to be able to handle stress in a healthy way.

If you have an anxious attachment style, you might find that you have more self-consciousness and insecurity about your work than your coworkers and need extra affirmation from higher-ups to feel good about your work output. 

If you have an avoidant attachment style, you might have a hard time relying on your coworkers and asking for help. You may find it challenging to work as part of a team because of your discomfort. 

You might also find it difficult to trust your coworkers or get too close to them.

If you have a disorganized attachment style, you might find that you both need reassurance about your work but also have difficulty asking for help. You may feel as though you have to “go it alone” and yet crave connection and support from coworkers and bosses. 

Attachment Style Impacts Your Finances

Your attachment style can also impact your finances.

If you have a secure attachment style, you're more likely to feel comfortable with money, are able to have important financial discussions with your partner without too much stress, and have positive relationships with your financial planner or advisor.

If you have an anxious attachment style, you may feel really insecure and stressed when it comes to your finances. This might mean that you constantly check your bank accounts, you worry about your finances, or you overspend to deal with stress. 

If you have an avoidant attachment style, you might find it difficult to trust when it comes to finances. Whether this is difficulty trusting your partner when it comes to making key financial decisions, or finding it difficult to trust your financial planner or advisor. You may find it easier to go it alone than to lean on other people for help or support when it comes to finances. You may also avoid thinking about your finances whenever possible rather than addressing issues head-on. 

If you have a disorganized attachment style, you may swing between insecurity and stress about finances to complete avoidance of financial topics. This pattern can cause a lot of stress on your relationships as others may not know how you’ll behave in a given moment. 

Attachment Style Impacts Your Health

Your attachment style can also impact your health.

If you have a secure attachment style, you're more likely to feel comfortable with your body and to have positive relationships with your doctor or healthcare provider. You’re less likely to overly worry about your health and deal with stress in a healthy way. . 

If you have an anxious attachment style, you might find yourself preoccupied with health concerns. You may worry about your health or about the latest health craze that you read about. You might also find that you visit the doctor more often to receive reassurance that your health is on track. 

You might also have a more negative view of your body and find it difficult to handle stress in a healthy way.

If you have an avoidant attachment style, you might have a hard time trusting your doctor or healthcare provider. You may actually avoid going to the doctor and may not have visited a health care professional in many years. When you have a health complaint you may avoid thinking about it or dealing with it much longer than other people. 

If you have a disorganized attachment style, you may swing between being preoccupied with your health concerns and avoid thinking about your health completely. 

Attachment Style Impacts Your Parenting

If you have a secure attachment style, you're more likely to feel comfortable with your children and to have positive relationships with them.

You're also more likely to feel like you can trust your children and their decision-making. 

If you have an anxious attachment style, you might worry about your children a lot. You could be intrusive in your child’s life and not allow them much independence. You might also have a more negative view of your parenting and find it difficult to handle stressful situations that your child experiences. 

If you have an avoidant attachment style, you might have a hard time being emotionally intimate with your children. You may have difficulty expressing yourself, and your emotions, to your children. You may either allow your children a lot of independence and not be too involved in their lives, or find it difficult to trust your children and be a disciplinarian. 

If you have a disorganized attachment style, you may swing between being overly permissive and doting on your children to allowing your children a lot of independence but expecting a high degree of discipline from them. You may feel very emotionally close and open with them some days and other days need distance. Your children may not know what to expect from you depending on the day. 

Attachment Style Impacts Your Friendships

If you have a secure attachment style, you're more likely to feel comfortable with your friends and to have positive relationships with them. You’re probably able to feel open and vulnerable with your friends. You develop deep trusting friendships that are long-lasting and valuable. 

If you have an anxious attachment style, you might need reassurance from friends frequently that everything is okay. This might mean that you need more frequent contact with friends or that you ask them questions such as “are you mad at me?” if you feel that something is off. 

If you have an avoidant attachment style, you might have a hard time being emotionally intimate with your friends and find it difficult to trust them. You may find that you prefer to have your own space than be part of a large social group. You might even label yourself as a loner or a lone wolf due to your preference for going it alone. 

If you have a disorganized attachment style, you might feel very close with your friends and need reassurance from them. However, when you experience conflict or discomfort with your friendships you may distance yourself or push them away. 

If you haven’t yet, get to know your attachment style with The Attachment Style Quiz. 

Once you know your attachment style, you can start to work on creating healthier, more secure relationships in your life. This is part of my comprehensive course on developing financial intimacy called The Couples Guide To Financial Intimacy. In this course, you’ll earn how to get on the same team s your partner so that you feel as though you’re building a secure financial future together. 

Would you prefer 1 on 1 support? Then perhaps Therapy Informed Financial Planning is right for the two of you. I invite you to schedule your free 30-minute discovery call today. 

Wishing You Healthy Love and Money,

Ed Coambs,

MBA, MA, MS, CFP®, CFT-I™, LMFT

HealthyLoveandMoney.com